Getting Through to People: How to Get Listening Leverage


ONE OF THE most powerful things you can do to increase your ability to persuade is to do genuinely, physically helpful things for the person you want to persuade. To be kind in action — not making a show of it, but just doing it. Nothing says, "I'm on your side," with as much impact as a genuinely kind deed.
Everybody can use some help now and then. Just look for small things. Once you start looking, you'll find lots of opportunities to help.
Not only will this feel good, and not only will it be good for your health (because of the "helper's high" kind acts will give you), but for our purposes here, it also puts the other person in a position of obligation to you. Most people have a natural desire to reciprocate kindness. They will want to discharge their feeling of obligation to you, and you have a great deal of influence over how they discharge it. You can ask them to watch a DVD or read an article or watch an online video, for example. You can say, "I know you don't like this stuff, but just do it for me, okay?" If you have built up a sufficient feeling of obligation toward you, they will do it.
Doing kind, thoughtful things also makes them see you as a kind, thoughtful person, which helps prevent them from thinking of you as a "hater" or a "racist." This will help reduce their resistance to your influence.
Are you having a difficult time getting through to someone? Gain some listening leverage.


CL 9:37 AM  

I have tried to do several things to get "listening leverage". While I may be able to casually mention certain things, I have yet to have a full conversation about 'unpleasant' aspects of islam. I have noticed that many people cannot bear to hear such terrible things. It literally is (to them) so illogical and so horrifying that they cannot get their minds around it. Still....I keep and will keep trying!

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