Relationships Strained Over Your Disagreement About Islam?

Monday

A reader asked me for some advice. He said, "Someone close to me is emphatically stubborn in their belief that Islam is a good religion and that only the 'crazy' Muslims kill people. How would you approach this person? I haven't talked to them about Islam for five years. I want to make a good impact before I lose this opportunity to talk to them."

That's a great question. Here's the advice I wish someone had given me ten years ago:

I would re-establish my relationship first. I would improve my communication with them, bond closely, share good times, etc. And like you have done, I would stop mentioning Islam for awhile.

You can only be as "controversial" as you are close. A strong relationship can handle controversy. A weak relationship will simply break apart with controversy. A semi-strong relationship can withstand a little controversy. So build a strong bond first.

I would also try to think of the person's "stubbornness" in some other way. I would reframe it.

I read a good story of reframing: A father and his daughter had always had arguments and the father thought of his daughter as stubborn. But the meaning and judgment of a behavior at least partly has to do with the context. In the context of disobedience to him, the father thinks of the daughter's behavior as stubborn. But a friend gave him a different view: "Imagine what will happen when the girl is a young teen and a boy is trying to convince her to do something sexual. She will not be easily persuaded. Why? Because she's stubborn."

The different context casts the exact same behavior in a new light. Instead of a negative thing, the stubborn behavior could be seen more positively. Under those circumstances, the father himself might call it something very different: "standing up for herself" or "having integrity" or "hard to manipulate" or "strength of character." He might be proud of his daughter for her behavior.

Do the same thing with the person close to you. Try to think of the behavior you've been calling "stubborn" in a different light, from a different context, and use different words. If you were going to call that behavior something positive, what would it be? This is a way to break down a barrier between the two of you. It is a way of forgiving your friend for resisting you.

And finally, I wouldn't try to convince your friend in one conversation. I would think in terms of small bits and long campaigns. Read more about that here.

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The Value of Reading the Koran

Friday

Someone left a comment the other day on A Message To Peaceful Muslims. It is clear and succinct and says it all. Here it is:

"I am currently reading the Koran, and am a non-Muslim. I am looking to find positive and enlightening aspects of this book and can find none. It is all commands to get rid of infidels; it is a book based on fear and death. I was looking to find something of a great read in it, but sadly I can find nothing of value."

If you haven't yet read the Koran, take the pledge and read it. Everything you say about Islam thereafter will ring with authority.

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The Glazov Gang Exposes Islam

Wednesday

If you haven't tuned into The Glazov Gang on YouTube, we recommend it. The inimitable Jamie Glazov is out to expose Islam for what it is. Just to give you an idea of what transpires on his show, here are a few recent episodes:

Choudary, Ibrahim and Hodge Battle it Out Over ISIS and Islam. A heated verbal brawl breaks out over whether Islamic theology inspires Islamic terror (watch video).

Creepy Way Muslims Lure American Girls to Join ISIS. The show was joined by Daniel Greenfield, a Shillman Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center (watch video).

Islam’s Rape of Sweden. The show was joined by Ingrid Carlqvist, the Editor-in-Chief of Dispatch-International.com. She shines a frightening light on the Muslim terror that has maimed her country (watch video).

Ex-Muslim Mona Walter: Rescuing Muslims from Islam. A courageous Christian convert from Islam shares her mission to help Muslims break the chains that bind them (watch video).

Subscribe to the Glazov Gang's YouTube Channel here.

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An Illogical Doctrine Based on Fear and Defended Through "Honor"

Saturday

Ali Sina, the former Muslim who runs Faith Freedom, wrote the following as part of an answer to a letter. You can read the whole exchange here. But what Sina says below is especially worth your attention:

Our responsibility is to awaken the non-Muslims and warn them of the danger of Islam. The danger comes from Islam and not the Middle Eastern people. Unlike Muslims, who discriminate, violate and abuse the human rights of non-Muslims, the Non-Muslims have difficulty with discrimination. However, they must understand that Islam is just a belief and beliefs do not have rights. Humans have rights, beliefs don’t.

...Muslims can become feral dogs if their religion is criticized. Savagery should not be tolerated. Those Muslims who choose to defend their religion with savagery should be locked up or kicked out. Dialogue should be welcomed, but there should be zero tolerance for violence.

Once dialogue begins, Islam will be discredited and Muslims will be set free. Once their source of pride becomes a source of shame, they will no longer cling to it but rather will be embarrassed of it and would want to dissociate themselves from it.

The Western culture is guilt based. The Eastern culture is shame based. For us Easterners, everything is about image and how others see us.

The opposite of guilt is innocence. If your ethos is guilt based, you have an inner police that stops you from doing wrong because doing wrong makes you feel guilty.

If your ethos is shame based, all you care is to preserve your image. The opposite of shame is honor. You can do wrong but as long as no one sees it, your image is not tarnished and you can still be seen as an honorable person. In a shame based culture, wrong and right have no meaning. It is all about shame and honor. If the stain of shame is removed, even if it means the murder of your own daughter, honor is restored. These are two very different worldviews. Unless we understand them we will not be able to make sense of Muslims and their minds.

Shame based cultures are primitive. All Eastern cultures are shame based even when they are not Islamic. Japanese culture, for example, is, or it has been, a shame based culture. Our Persian culture is also shame based. Proverbs like “I keep my cheeks rosy with slaps,” are telltales of a shame based culture, where image is more important than facts. This proverb says that I may be starving but my pride does not allow me to let anyone know it so I slap myself to keep my cheek rosy. Because poverty is the source of shame as long as I hide my poverty, I have preserved my honor.

Islam is a fear based philosophy that has taken root in a shame based milieu. This is a very dangerous combination. When you combine fear and shame moral codes, you give birth to the most insidious ethos imaginable. That is Islam. Islam is an illogical doctrine that is based on fear and is defended through honor. This makes Islam more dangerous than Nazism. Muslims are not concerned about the irrationality of Islam or about good or evil. They are mostly concerned about losing face and upholding the image of Islam.

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Talk to People About Muhammad's Hatred of Dogs

Thursday

We received an email from a reader with a worthy suggestion. He wrote the following:

When we talk to people about Islam, we should talk about Mohammed's hatred of dogs because they are a common pet and we can make sure people accept facts. Here is a transcript of a recent conversation I had with a dog owner.

Me: Nice day isn't it?
Owner: Yes it is.
Me: Is that your dog?
Owner: Yes.
Me: What is your dog's name?
Owner: (reveals dog's name).
Me: I think I know why dogs are called man's best friend. They are loyal to a fault.
Owner: Yes they are known to be man's best friend.
Me: It's a shame that the sentiment of dogs being man's best friend isn't universal. I hear that in some countries such as Iran that dogs are forbidden.
Owner: That's surprising to hear that there are countries which ban dogs.
Me: It goes back 1400 years ago in the Middle East to a man named Mohammed who didn't like dogs very much. He considered them unclean and evil — so much so that he declared all dogs to be evil and now they are forbidden.
Owner: Wow it's amazing that a man's hatred of dogs 1400 years ago would become the hatred of dogs shared by his followers.
Me: Of course not all Muslims hate dogs but given how seriously some take their ideology it was only a matter of when — not if — that dogs would be hated just for being dogs.

So far I have not met any resistance from people when I tell them this story and I figured that everyone who wants to tell the truth should start with Mohammed's hatred of dogs as many people own a dog and it would be a good topic for conversation.

Editor's comment: You could add that it says 91 times in the Koran that Muslim's should follow Muhammad's example in all things.

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Article Spotlight

One of the most unusual articles on CitizenWarrior.com is Pleasantville and Islamic Supremacism.

It illustrates the Islamic Supremacist vision by showing the similarity between what happened in the movie, Pleasantville, and what devout fundamentalist Muslims are trying to create in Islamic states like Syria, Pakistan, or Saudi Arabia (and ultimately everywhere in the world).

Click here to read the article.


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